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Thomas Midgley, Lead Baron

The roaring 20’s was quite the gas
A time no-one wanted to pass,
Horse and carriage had their day,
The motor car was here to stay!

But engines were all rinky dink
The fuel would make them “knock” and “pink”
They all had too much preignition,
And stopping it was quite a mission

They say when opportunity knocks
Get out of bed, put on your socks!
‘Cos this was just the motivator
For Thomas Midgely, innovator!

For years he worked, without stopping
Inventing stuff to stop the knocking,
Firstly he found that alcohol
Could stop the knocking really well!

The trouble was that adding booze
To fuel would all his profits lose,
Tellurium, it caused a stink!
Thomas had to stop and think…

One day it jumped into his head,
“The answer lies in adding lead”
“It works to stop the knocking sound,
It’s also cheap and easily found!”

Now, all the scientists of the day,
Protested lead was not the way!
Inhaling and ingesting lead,
Is known to make us all brain dead!

It poisons nerves, not good for health!
Yet science gave away to wealth.
See, Midgely didn’t really care,
“I’m gonna be a millionaire”!

Though he himself fell deathly ill
When on his hands this stuff he spilled!
It very nearly made him dead,
You’d think it popped into his head;


“Perhaps I should be hesitating?”
“No way!” Thought he, “Profits are waiting!”
It did not weigh down on his conscience,
He dreamt of riches and recompense!

Like an intrepid alchemist,
Thomas could simply not resist,
Turning lead to virtual gold,
So to the world his poison sold!

The marketing machine was fed
Instructions not to call it lead!
‘Ethyl’s’ the name that was decided,
Ensuring the public was misguided.

We’ll now observe how Thomas Midgely,
Fouled water, land and all we see,
For lead doesn’t just go away
When out of our exhaust it sprays.

It hangs about, like dragons’ breath
And harms us all, a creeping death.
See, lead or ‘plumbum’ as it’s known,
Accumulates in brain and bone

An element, that’s coloured grey,
Which makes us dumber by the day.
More people have been killed by lead
Than wars we’ve had, it has been said!

Its taken sixty years so far,
To stop its use in all our cars.
You’d think that’s it, but it remains,
For use in boats and aeroplanes!

We still spew tons into our air,
So people must become aware
Much faster must we move to quit
Reliance on this evil sh*t.

It probably wasn’t his intention
To choke himself on his invention,
But we’re sure the Earth did sigh,
When Thomas Midgely finally died.

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